As happy as you may be, there may be a chance that you; like many other men around you, suffer from low self-esteem when it comes to relationships. This is not uncommon. You may not be shy, quiet, nervous, or in any way inadequate in your usual routine. You may not even have any other serious psychological hang-ups. However, it could mean that you have a low self-esteem if you feel that you cannot successfully attract a sexual partner.
There is a difference in general confidence and self esteem for men that you may want to note. You may be successful in impressing a woman, while at the same time, you may feel that you are not interesting enough to close the deal, or land a date. The latter is an example of low self-esteem, while the former is a demonstration of a strong confidence in your ability to communicate. This does not mean that all men with low self-esteem do not make it through to the dating phase of a relationship. There are a number of men successful in this regard, due to being able to adequately hide the issues they have; but the issues, more often than not, will reveal themselves later in the relationship.
Negative Effects of Male Low Self-esteem in a Relationship
Strain on Relationship
Men with a low self-esteem in a relationship tend to show spikes in their emotions. On one hand the male partner will be very kind, loving and generous, while on the other he will be verbally abusive or mean. The whole relationship is a kind of emotional roller coaster.
Emotions can lead a person to do anything. The emotional abuse that the male impresses upon his partner is a direct result of his inadequacies in successful romantic communication or the fear of not being able to form a complete connection with the person he is inflicting the abuse upon.
Constant Need for Assurance
Fortunately, not all relationships involving a partner with low self-esteem is quite so drastic. There are subtle personality traits that become prevalent and consistent in the person’s life, and any romantic relationship he may find himself in. The person suffering from a low self-esteem feels like he is not worth anything given to him, which leads to the need for assurance from his partner. The relationship then turns into a push / pull relationship, and becomes tiresome for the other partner. The low self-esteem partner has convinced himself that he is unworthy of love, and thus tries, unknowingly, to break up the relationship by being too needy, bossy, and mean or by constantly going into relationships that he knows will never work out in the end.
How does a Low Self-esteem Lead to Jealousy?
The male partner with low self-esteem feels that he is not enough for his partner; he believes that he is not giving enough in the relationship, and that he does not deserve love, or can’t figure out why his partner is with him. Because of this, he drives himself to believe things about his partner. He starts to look for nuances in his partner’s personality that aren’t really there, and start questioning his partner’s relationships with other men, whether the relationship is professional or friendly.
With this said, it is safe to conclude that it is the combination of the subject being insecure, fearful of relationship failure, fearful that his inadequacies may be revealed, and the made-up competition from other males in his partner’s life that leads to jealousy in a relationship.