Many men believe that controlling the women in their lives is the way to keep them by their side, but this often has the opposite effect. Although some jealousy in relationships is normal, particularly when a couple is in the beginning stages of getting to know one another, jealousy can ultimately drive quality women away. If you’re a guy who finds yourself repeating that same pattern with the women that you become involved with, it’s time for you to learn more about how giving up control can enhance your relationships.
Most men think that it’s their job to be in control and that women expect it of them. Some even believe that the women they become romantically involved with won’t respect them if they aren’t always in control. They may spend so much of their time trying to maintain a the illusion of control that they are failing to be their genuine selves. Women become frustrated with them because they rightfully sense that the guy is not being authentic with them.
You don’t have to buy the lady in your life a black leather outfit and a whip as a way of giving up control, although if the thought of doing so is enjoyable to both of you, it couldn’t hurt to give it a whirl. Sharing control in the relationship isn’t so much about bedroom games as it is about living everyday life ways that won’t leave your partner feeling suffocated.
Men who try to be too controlling usually give their partners extreme cases of emotional claustrophobia. Although women do admire men who can take charge when needed, no one likes to feel that every aspect of their existence is being micromanaged. In general, men who try to control every little thing are only showing their insecurities, and insecurity is a trait in men that makes women nervous.
If she’s any kind of woman worth holding onto, telling the woman in your life what she can and can’t do will do nothing but drive her away. Women who value their status as fully functioning adults don’t allow themselves to be pushed around for long. Most women will just walk away from relationships when the man tries to be too controlling, but others may hang around and develop sneaky ways of doing what they want. This just fosters dishonesty between romantic partners. If a woman has to go behind your back just to do some of the things that give her personal satisfaction, your relationship isn’t healthy for either one of you.
Many men find that their stress levels go down significantly after they give up their need to always be in control. Men who live high stress lifestyles are more at risk for developing cardiovascular problems and other debilitating health conditions. You’ll live longer and be happier if you let go of the need to control every aspect of your relationship.
Another benefit of not trying to be the perpetual dominant partner in your relationship is that you and your partner will both discover new levels of trust and appreciation for one another. When your partner tries to please you, you’ll know that it’s because she sincerely wants to rather than feels that you’ll be angry if she doesn’t. Letting her be in control of situations will also give you strong insight into who she is as a woman and what makes gives her personal happiness.
Men often claim that they’re puzzled because they don’t know what women want — giving over control to the lady in your life will show you exactly what she wants.