Begging might seem like the intuitive thing to do, but you must exercise self control as much as you can. Begging and pleading are the worst things you can do at this time. When you plead, you come across as very needy, which is unattractive, and will only cause your ex to move further away from you, and reinforce their decision to break up with you.
Remember, no one has ever taken an ex back out of pity! So, do not beg your partner to take you back.
Giving Her Gifts
Gifts are only great WHEN you’re still together. The act of showering her with gifts immediately after a break up actually hurts your chances, as she will see this as ‘too little, too late’. What caused the break up is something she feels strongly about, and trying to solve it with something like a gift just shows her that you don’t understand things at the level she wants you to.
Being a Doormat or Overly Agreeable
This is doing whatever your ex wants you to do, and sacrificing your own happiness to please her. Basically letting them walk all over you, without demanding anything yourself. Communicating that you will do anything to be with them, which again comes across as unattractive. Don’t give them all the power. Don’t always be available.
Being too nice will come across as being too passive, insecure and predictable.
Texting and Calling
This is probably the hardest thing to do, because you want to so much get in touch with them. Avoid this as much as possible. You have to make yourself scarce.
Stop calling her, stop being so responsive to her, stop being her friend. The last thing you want to do is end up being friends.
Next time she calls, tell her you have a date over at the house, or you’re leaving to meet a woman. Of course, make sure IT’S TRUE.
The best thing is not to be so available and to get busy enjoying your life.
If you are starting to lose control and you really want to hear her voice, or you can’t stop thinking about her, do something to stop yourself from doing it. Have a friend keep you accountable if you are feeling week.
Letting them know how much you love them
It might seem logical to tell them how much you love them and care for them in the hope that they will want you back. But this is not what they want to hear right now, and it may push them further away.
Going crazy if they start seeing someone else
I know this can tear someone apart if the person you truly care about and want to be with starts seeing someone else. It just makes the whole situation exponentially worse.
You might reason that your ex is on the rebound, and hence they may get physical a lot quicker with their new partner.
You have to try to remain calm. Be cool. Fact is, if it is happening, rebound relationships are normal after a break up, but usually they don’t last – and what’s more, the faster it happens, the faster it ends.
Try to Keep Tabs on Who she is with and What She is up to
Asking her inquisitive questions about her day in a way that suggests you want to know what she was up to is not going to help. If asking her questions, do not go into details. She is single and free to do what she wants and with whom she wants. You lose the right to keep tabs on her when the relationship ends. If she wants to date someone else, do not get in the way, as this will make her more likely to do the very thing you don’t want her to do. Imagine a parent telling a child not to do something..what usually happens? Its a very similar psychology at play here.
I’m not saying to encourage it, just don’t fight it. It is hard to think about her with another man, but you must be strong.
Act Indifferent to the New Relationship
Don’t react or try to give them advice, for example by telling them they are doing the wrong thing, and that they shouldn’t be seeing that person. Otherwise, they will most likely do the opposite of what you want.
And the final mistake people make when trying to get their ex back..
Trying to be her friend
My advice, don’t be her friend under any circumstances.
Maybe you can be friends somewhere down the road but not immediately, otherwise she will use the friend thing to gradually ease you out of the picture. You will also come across needy. This is so key! Then you can present the new and improved you! Take away that security from her.
Focusing on Getting her back
Don’t FOCUS on gettting your ex back because here’s THE PROBLEM…
Focusing on getting her back will not only lessen the chances, but it will keep you from moving on in your life.
The absolute best thing for you to do is to actually MOVE ON in your life. And Ironically, NOT TRYING will give you the best chance..
What you should do is perhaps go date other women, and be scarce in her life. Because she is not going to feel those ‘feelings’ for you, if you stay in touch, being her friend/therapist, being “nice”… and by trying to “win her over” again.
It would be great if things worked that way, but in relationships things are never as straight forward..
So, in most situations, the best bet is to MOVE ON and get on with life.
Not Getting Any Help!
Don’t keep making the same mistakes. You’ve got to make the effort and get some help.
Ok so what should you do to get your ex back?…